Requirements Fulfilled

In January, 

without much ado,

Girl2 fulfilled her

High School graduation

requirements.

photo credit:Manboy

But since

public school ceremonies

took place last week in

the little town in which we live,

we celebrated our Girl

last night with a

low-key family

"build your own pizza" dinner.

It was intimate,

quiet (mostly)

and maybe a little dull

for some,

but we wanted her to know

that we love her 

and are proud of

 the woman she is becoming.

photo credit:Manboy

She doesn't have the rest of her life

mapped out

but she does know what she wants.

And as she embarks upon 

the next leg of her journey

she can rest assured

that Mr. H and I will continually

cheer her on as she goes.

Living in a Small Town (Ism One)

It's been a long time - 

too long -

since I've written to you.

I was going through some heavy things.

Things too heavy to write about.

But that's all over now.

And I can breathe again.

Whew!

When I first began this blog

my intention was to 

share a little bit about my life

on a daily basis

so as to appear 

human.

(Chuckle, chuckle).

That hasn't happened (yet)

but I'm here today 

(and maybe tomorrow...)

with a little story about

living in a small town.

Last summer I phoned the local branch of my bank

to schedule an appointment.

The Banker who answered said that her computer was down 

and asked if she could return my call in about five minutes.

I said, "Of course. No problem,"

and gave her my phone number.

Well,

I am still waiting for that return call.

Funny thing...

I phoned the same local branch at 10:09am today

and the very same Banker answered the phone

with the SAME EXACT scenario.

It's now 12:22pm

and I am still waiting for that return call.

Should I take it personally?

(Laughing out loud).

No wonder most people choose 

to do all of their banking online

these days.

It may be impersonal but at least the computer doesn't 

ask to call you back!

(Laughing again!)

Luckily for me,

I called the bank back myself and when I did,

the person I actually needed to speak to answered the phone - 

BOTH times!

Happy Anniversary

One year ago, November 30, 2014

my dad, Joseph (Joe) Luis Sahagun Jr.

passed from this earth.

 

  He was preceded in death by his wife Lynda

 (the love of his life),

his mother, two brothers, a nephew

and various other loved ones.

In May, his dad went to join him. 

His three children, 

ten grandchildren, great-grandchild,

four sisters, two brothers

and many friends are left to remember him.

My dad was a proud, hard-working,

passionate

and complex man.
 

In good times and in bad, he held his head high.
He held fast to his convictions and
made his opinions known.

You may have known his mood,
but he kept most things private.

 

He diligently provided for his family

and was rarely idle

 (except on Sundays during football season).
Even after retiring from over thirty years in the trucking industry,
he worked odd jobs for the next decade
  always finding something to do.

But the last four years of his life were probably
the most difficult years he ever had to face.
He was lonely and he missed my mom
every day.

Dad was a man of many emotions and
often full of contradictions 

but he loved his family fiercely.

So much so, that at the end of his life,
the only thing that mattered to him
was knowing that his children
and grandchildren loved him back.

And we do.

That is why on this day,
the anniversary of his passing,
we say, "Happy Anniversary!";
because we know that he has been
reunited with the one he loved the most
and that he is now truly happy
and has complete peace.

We love you dad!

One Last Goodbye

This evening I had one last opportunity to sit in my parent's yard - 

the yard in which they invested thousands of dollars 

and poured countless hours of labor into.

That yard was my mom's pride and joy

and served as her own private sanctuary.

As I said my last goodbye to that which they so dearly cherished,

I sat and observed all of the things which are missing and have died due to neglect

and also marveled at the things which have survived in spite of it:

mom's beloved Lilac bush, lovingly planted in memory of her favorite aunt;

a few remaining Rose bushes,

 painstakingly cared for so as to yield the most fragrant and lush roses possible;

a few Poppies, and various trees & bushes;

which all pay tribute to my parents.

As the tears streamed down my face,

they joined me with their presence;

mom and dad did,

and together we mourned the loss 

of all they had worked so hard for.

Upon returning to my house I was feeling discouraged

by the heartlessness of people.

With the tears still streaming down my face,

I looked out my kitchen window to see the faintest portion of a rainbow

and it reminded me that despite the wretchedness of people, 

God is still faithful and good.

And He (God) gently and lovingly reminded me that despite the attempts of people

and the way things appear right now,

the promises which He made to me and my husband concerning our move here

(twelve years ago)

are still valid.

He doesn't change His mind, 

His promises always come to pass

and absolutely NOTHING is impossible!

Thank You God!

Be Not Afraid

The past decade of my life

has been one of great personal growth 

with some major "soul-searching"

and intense self-examination.

 I have observed 

(interestingly)

that fear has played a major part in my life.

In fact, I have observed

that fear, indeed, 

plays a major factor in our society

(and likely in the whole of humanity).

I recently (like today-ha)

made a list of things that we have been

taught or conditioned to fear.

The list is as it came to my mind and is

 extensive but certainly not all-inclusive.

Here goes:

Fear strangers,

the dark,

the unknown.

Be afraid of cultures, ideas and lifestyles which are different than yours.

Be afraid of the night.

Be afraid of getting bad grades.

Fear failure.

Fear God,

sin,

making mistakes.

Be afraid of being different,

of standing out,

of going against the norm,

of taking chances.

Fear lack, want and having to go without.

Fear Poverty.

Fear those who are "different".

Fear religion.

Fear Non-religion.

Fear science.

Be afraid of the devil.

Fear aliens, monsters and creatures unknown.

Fear THE unknown.

Be afraid of exploring new ideas,

of "free thinkers"

of "new agers".

Be afraid to think for yourself.

Fear rebellion.

Be afraid of being rebellious.

Fear not being included.

Fear being alone.

Be afraid of breaking the rules.

Be afraid of being unconditionally kind.

Fear disease and illness.

Fear death.

Be afraid...be very afraid...

Fear your own shadow.

Fear abuse, injustice.

Fear ignorance,

intellect.

Be afraid to trust your instincts.

Be afraid to overcome your fears.

Be afraid to think outside the box.

Fear stepping out of the box.

Be afraid of saying, "no",

of disagreeing.

Be afraid of being judged,

of what others think.

Be afraid of being Free.

Fear kindness (from others).

Fear the elements.

Fear the wrath of others.

Fear. Fear. Fear.

Fear your oppressors.

Fear your Maker.

Fear Love.

Be afraid of being wrong.

Be afraid of getting hurt.

Be afraid of standing up for yourself,

of speaking up,

of speaking out.

Fear the government,

the IRS.

Fear people in authority.

Fear the future.
Fear living one moment at a time.

Fear.

The list could go on and on,

but life is calling me.

I once read something that said all things are rooted 

in one of two things,

either Fear or Love.

I didn't agree with it at the time,

but now I can see that it makes (some) sense.

 I do know that fear accomplishes one thing -

it keeps us from Living!

The past decade has often been hard

but I wouldn't change it (much) 

;)

because without my struggles,

I wouldn't be free from all that had kept me from living.

 I now live 

a life without fear - 

I am FEARLESS!

Suffer the Children

"I remand you to the State 

to be warehoused until you are 18 years of age...

I know you've had rough time

but it's time to grow up."

This from a juvenile court judge

to a 16 year old boy

whose three most influential men in his life

are all abusers.

How on earth can he possibly know how to

"grow up"?

All the while,

the local judges and authorities 

look the other way

while the boys' main abuser

goes on with his life,

walking free to abuse the children who remain

in his care and custody.

 Examples of our tax dollars at work.

How do they sleep at night,

I want to know?

And this boy;

none of his crimes have been so severe.

The only person he has harmed

is himself.

Yet, is left to suffer and

pay for the crimes of his abusers.

How can this possibly be?

What kind of society are we?

Civilized - I sincerely doubt,

when it is more important to be in a position

which holds clout.

Indeed,

Hell is for children

when those who are supposed to protect and nurture

turn theirs backs on the

future.

I am beyond baffled

and sickened to the core.

Generation after generation.

When will it all end?

Our children,

who will defend?

In My Brain Today

The belief that human thought

is the highest form of intellect

is terrifying!

 

No wonder so many people

live in fear.